On a warm summer night, so late that it is pitch black outside, a lone man sits in his living room, on the floor. He is surrounded by six ferrets and two cats, all in various stages of mischief. The man picks up his guitar, and with a word of wisdom about fuzzies and music, he begins to play. The sounds of the acoustic guitar reverberate across the room, in a soothing, calming .... WEEZIL WAR DANCING sort of way!

Basil war dances around the guitar-playing man, while Sasha and Raven simultaneously try to bypass the strings to get into the body of the guitar .... Bandit runs over to the screen door at the balcony and begins furiously scratching at the screen, almost as if to accompany the man's strumming. He stops, then in tandem with his brother Blitz, attacks the nearest cat [Pepper] ... Pepper meows her fury, all along to the melody of the acoustic guitar on a warm summer night .....

This is a very difficult thing for any parent to admit: my children, all six ferrets and two cats, are being treated for EAR MITES! We brought Basil, Bandit, and Blitz in to the vet for their annual checkup. My husband never got the hang of ferret ear cleaning so we asked Dr. Deeb to show us the proper method. A hunch had her calling for her assistant to do a specimen slide .... Basil has been itchy since the day we brought him home .... lo and behold, EAR MITES! Since one ferret definitely has them, the rest need to be treated as well. No other slides were needed at that point, just a months worth of medicine and a follow-up appointment for Basil ....

Dr. Deeb prepared two syringes of Ivermectin and Mineral Oil in a one to one ratio. The ferrets are to be dosed via both ears twice a week for a month, then Basil goes in for another checkup. We were both concerned and relieved at the diagnosis. However, since the ferrets are being treated for ear mites, the kitties needed to go see the vet as well ....

My husband took the two cats to the vet two days later. Neither cat showed visible signs of having mites as well, but just to be on the safe and smart side, they are also being treated with ear medicine. Ah, the joys of being owned by fuzzies!

June 23, 2001 .... Late Night : I left this note on the coffee table for my husband right before leaving for work this morning, and upon reading it tonight, I just HAD to add it in here .....

'Mr. Man and His Potato : A Root Veggie Tale' - Mr. Man, aka Bandit, was first seen by me this morning in the following position: half in, half out of the 'cow hammie' [their cow-pattern hammock] on the top level of the main cage. His head was curled under the hammock and he was SNUGGLING with the potato that he had been given Friday night as a toy. Yes, Bandit sometimes enjoys not just playing with food, but also snuggling with it. Bandit apparently found great comfort and happiness spending quality time with his friend, the humble brown potato ....

Fifteen minutes later .... Blitz had said potato on the second floor of the main cage, nuzzling it underneath a favorite blankie. Was he tucking the potato in?

Thirty minutes later ... said potato is again under the cow hammock, but no ferrets are in sight.

Later Saturday morning, a couple of hours after I've been at work ... James calls me at work. The potato is now on the BOTTOM floor of the main cage with Blitz. I recommend at this time some covert vegetable roundup before the potato disappears mysteriously, as had happened once many months ago, never to be seen again ....

O.k., so maybe I am a bit paranoid, but somehow I am convinced that all six ferrets and two cats know that I am leaving for a week to visit my family and birthplace of Boston, MA. My husband is staying behind, so at least the place will still be fuzzy-friendly! The last trip to Boston, last summer, was a torturous week of wondering if the babies were doing well, how was the baby-sitter doing with them all, did they miss us? We sure missed them!

Alas, this year I go alone. My week is already planned, filled with family and friends, plus I get to meet my niece for the first time since she was born [Emma Dexter, Dec. 9, 2000!] I'll be too busy to miss everyone, right? Who cares if I don't get to hold my babies for a whole week ..... AAAAAHHH! Somehow they all know, and are acting extra bizarre for my remembering pleasure .... At least I have until Saturday Night.

We have watched Sasha bloom from a scared, shaky, intimidated little ferret to a happy-go-lucky, healthy, thrilled to be alive ferret girl! I would have thought that something as touching and bold as what she showed us would take many more months, but ....

Last night my husband and I were sitting in the ferret room together, in the dark, just hanging with the ferrets before bedtime. We had just re-created yet another version of Comforter Castle, so the ferrets were in and out of their snuggly retreat: emerging to visit, steal some food or a quick nip or lick of our skin, then back under their fort [just saying 'Ferret Fort' is do darned cute!] James and I were speaking very quietly to each other as to not wake those fuzzies that were already sleeping for the night.

Sasha was among the visiting ferrets and was actually more busy than the rest. As she passed between us, over us, through us, around us, we shared knowing and happy smiles, both thrilled beyond words with her trusting ways. As if on cue, Sasha decided to flop down exactly between myself and James, slightly touching each of us, then rolled completely over on her back, staying belly-up for long enough to know that she was telling us something [and not just that she was doing the happy-roll!]

Sasha felt comfortable, safe, and happy enough to roll over on her back between two humans. Mammals do not as a rule show humans their bellies, especially ferrets, unless there is a real trust existing. Even though it has only been nine or so months since Sasha and Basil were in a assumedly abusive home, so much so that Sasha lashed out, hid, shook in fear, and showed every sign of being treated badly, she wanted to blatantly show us that she trusts us, loves us, and is truly happy.

What more could ferrety parents ask for?

'I am NOT going to let a ferret outthink ME!' This battle cry sounded this afternoon and I knew I was in store for some serious entertainment ....

Basil has been trying to steal the printer port from underneath our networked computers. Raven has been playing long jump from the top of the front cage to the television, and on to the kitchen counter. Blitz has been trying to scratch his way out of the ferret room, in to the back bedroom, and through any other obstacle that is in his way. Well, today was Foil the Ferret Fun time! I sat back and watched as each troublemaking ferret lost their biggest challenges ...

So we thought we had a reprieve from all the spoiled ferret antics because it was so late at night ... yeah, right. There was to be no rest for the wicked this unusually cold Friday night. It was ten in the evening when the scratching at the ferret room door started. We knew who it was and what was happening, but chose to ignore it, or try to. Sure. For two hours Blitz scratched on the door, bit and scratched at the cage bars, and even ripped a new hole in the carpet. Guess who was the first to break? My husband sheepishly asked if it was alright if Blitz came out after we had eaten a late dinner. I smiled, trying to suppress a laugh, and naturally agreed.

I had just come home from a twelve hour workday. Working as a pharmacist for twelve hours at a time, no break, no lunch, no nothing unless I leave the bench unmanned [or unwomaned, in my case.] I had no idea what waited for me in the Ferret Room.

Someone stole our cute Beary and replaced him with Bear the WareFerret, Bear the WarWeezil, Bear the Really Pissed Off... He wanted to come out but could not, as we were getting ready for a late dinner. He wanted to climb up on the cage to escape the ferret room on his own, but we would not let him do that. So, after a quick change from my work clothes to comfy clothes, I was in the Ferret Room ready to entertain the Fuzzy Troops. I plopped down on the floor with a sigh of relief, happy to be at home and with my family. As usual, all six ferrets gathered from the corners of the room or where ever they happened to be at the time to greet me.

Bear came slamming down two sets of ferret ramps to see me, his eyes glittering with what I mistook as being happy to see me. He grabbed on to my arm at the elbow, as usual, and started the lick, lick CHOMP! game. This time it was serious. He bit me hard enough to create a puncture wound, and I knew it right away, even though I was shocked almost to inaction. This is where having a year of experience behind me helped a bit: I froze, yelled at him to stop, and expected him to reluctantly but dutifully open his jaws and release me. No chance. He bit down harder and started to dig in with his back feet. He wanted to drag me across the room, and he was not kidding.

Shock gave way to outrage as Bear clamped down even harder on my elbow and pulled. I reached for him with my other hand and scruffed him, already feeling that I had stopped the show. I was wrong. I had Bear scruffed with my right hand, Bear had his jaws firmly clamped THROUGH the skin of my left elbow. As I lifted Bear up higher and higher off the ground by his scruff, which should have reflexively made him release my elbow, he seemed to chomp even harder still, finally making me cry out in pain, suprise, shock, and anger.

It was mostly fear that made me cry out: fear of what I was seeing happen and fear of what I may have to do to get Bear to let me go. It was the most frightening moment of the past year [besides the two hours between the phone call from my doctor and my appointment with a blood specialist, but that is another story for another time....] Bear regained his senses right after I finally got him scruffed enough to release me, but I certainly didn't. I cried for a bit, mostly because I was so freaked out, and partly because my elbow now had a couple of ferret teeth marks that hurt! Hopefully, that was a momentary lapse of reason for Bear and will not happen again. I now know that I will keep my head in a real emergency, or at least partly!

After two full days of relative calm in Extreme WeezilLand, Sunday came as a shocking surprise .... A loud and unusual noise alerted us to Bear's overly hyper state in the ferret room. He wanted out and he wanted out BAD. Since we were both finishing up lunch, Bear was just going to have to wait, right? That is what WE thought .... A few minutes later, a familiar scrabbling sound brought our attention to Bear climbing the outside of the main Ferret Room cage. He had a very determined look on his cute fuzzy ferret face, which meant mischief was close at hand. Sure enough, right in front of our eyes, Bear was carefully but swiftly walking along the top of the hard-shell plastic tubing that connects the large Ferret Room cage to the cage over the wall in the front room!

We had guessed that this had happened before when Bear mysteriously escaped the ferret room just once before, but we had not actually WITNESSED it! Yet there he was: Our Cinnamon Beary being a daredevil, traversing along a slippery and dangerous path to get from the inside of the Ferret Room to Freedom, outside the Ferret Room. Even though he knew we were both watching, Bear continued his perilous journey until his four ferrety paws were firmly gripping the top of the cage outside the ferret room. Just one jump, or one short climb down the side of the cage, and Bear would be FREE! FREE AT LAST!

As I sat in my chair, wide-eyed with a mixture of horrified suprise and loving amusement, I watched as Bear was snatched from the top of the outside cage as if an eagle had swooped down on him .... James had run around the other side of the Ferret Room, into the kitchen, where he was just an arm's length away from the rogue weezil. The look of triumph in Bear's eyes faded to an acceptance of defeat as he was placed back on the floor of the Ferret Room, but for the rest of the day Bear's step was just a bit lighter, his expression slightly tinged with victory ...