... excessive worry over if your ferrets are bored : every day or so you MUST come up with a new game or toy idea or you feel like a bad ferret parent!

  ... free newspapers are no longer an annoying waste of paper : they are under every ferret litter box in the house

  ... while shopping, you are constantly on the lookout for potential ferret - usable stuff [toy and game ideas, bedding and playhouse or FERRET FORTS as we call them]

  ... the two technology upgraded computers, networked and multimedia ready, in the front room are used mostly for creating photo collections and web pages about your ferrets

  ... bookstores instantly win your customer loyalty if they carry ferret books [must be the latest versions and "Ferrets for Dummies" is mandatory to be in stock!]

  ... ferret related purchases are deemed "necessities" even if such items include obscene amounts of tubes, toys, and sleep sacks

  ... every day's agenda is planned and executed with the ferrets' well-being in mind ... 'We have to get home soon to let the dookers out,' or 'I wonder what the fuzzies are doing right now .... I bet they are wondering where we are .... Let's go home and see them!'

  ... you find yourself sneaking around your own house, trying to be as quiet as you can, so you do not wake the ferrets [I found this one to be the most disturbing, but I still do it daily!]

  ... even if your ferret throws a temper tantrum and bites you out of sheer ferrety frustration, you STILL feel bad, convinced that it is somehow all your fault

  ... the only new topic you have to always talk about at work is ferret-related

  ... your customers always ask how your ferrets are every time they come in

  ... reading ferret - oriented newsgroups, email digests, and other stories about ferrets usually leaves you tearing up or extremely angry, as well as feeling ashamed of being part of the human race ... Fuzzy abuse needs to be a felony punishable by very nasty and painful means [from the 'If I Ruled The World' part of my brain]

  ... household members all share the same 'Ferret Wordz' : made-up words relating to ferrets, as well as ferrety lyrics to popular songs [i.e.: sing Monty Pythons' 'The Lumberjack Song' as 'The Ferret Song' : I'm a ferret and I'm ok; I dook all night and I dook all day]